No Longer Suicidally Tied

Photo by T.J. Hübner

Down by the waterfront
the air bloweth icy cold
in from the North Sea
as I look out at the tide

My mind wanders incessantly
between past and present
life and death considered
due to a pride, I denied

There are regrets,
there were sacrifices,
but it’s the here and now
I must consider and decide

Standing alone and shivering
thoughts run rampant
uncontrolled with destruction
due to a pride, I denied

The wind bites hard and
deep to the bones within a body
broken and dishevelled,
yet the pain is felt inside

And that pain, that loss of self,
that insecurity, that I carry daily
is what I ponder on right now
due to a pride, I denied

So, I take a deep icy cold breath
lookout at the noontide, so wide
take stock of the pride, I denied
and decide today at the seaside
I am not ready to die bleary-eyed,
but start to live, no longer suicidally tied.

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